Do You Believe In Something?

Aug 22, 2013
Originally published on December 18, 2013 10:54 am
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So let's welcome our next two contestants: Tracey Rhys and Stewart Shutler.


EISENBERG: Wonderful to have you here. Stewart, you are from Canada?


EISENBERG: Making us basically from the same family.

SHUTLER: Pretty much. Sure.

EISENBERG: You're in Hamilton; is that correct?

SHUTLER: Yes. That's right. Close to Toronto.1

EISENBERG: OK. Let me ask you this. What's the difference between a Trekker and a Trekkie?

SHUTLER: I would say Trekkies are way more obsessed. Trekkers are like casual fans.

EISENBERG: And which one are you?



EISENBERG: How do you feel about the new version of "Star Trek"?

SHUTLER: I liked it. I was actually kind of pleasantly surprised.

EISENBERG: Pleasantly surprised. Yeah. I like you. You're very even keeled. Canadian. I like it. I like it.


EISENBERG: Tracey, are you a "Star Trek" fan of any?

TRACEY RHYS: I was a crazy Trekkie when I was growing up.

EISENBERG: You were the obsessive kind.

RHYS: Yeah. Yeah. I went to a convention in Salt Lake City, even. Twice. So.

EISENBERG: Was that your favorite television show?

RHYS: Oh, no. That would have to be "The X-Files."

EISENBERG: Oh, "The X-Files." Oh, yeah. I see. I see what we've got up here. Jonathan Coulton, what are we doing to these people?



COULTON: With these people.

EISENBERG: Yeah, to them.

COULTON: With these people.

EISENBERG: Oh, I'm sorry. With them.

COULTON: This game is based on the Lovin' Spoonful song "Do You Believe In Magic?" We have rewritten the lyrics to be about supernatural or fictional things that some people believe in. So ring in when you know what that thing is. As always, the winner will move on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show.


COULTON: (singing) Do you believe in this thing? Because you look awfully pale. Your teeth are all pointy. There's a bloody trail. Listen, buddy, stay away from my throat. A stake in my hand is something you should note.


COULTON: Tracey.

RHYS: (singing) Vampires.

COULTON: Vampires. That's right.


EISENBERG: I like the singing. I'm not going to lie. If you want to sing your answers, Stewart, that is highly acceptable.

SHUTLER: I will.


COULTON: (singing) Do you believe in this thing? How did you get here? Did you swing from a peak like a chandelier? Do you think? Does it sound absurd that you were given to your family by a giant bird?


COULTON: Yes. Tracey.

RHYS: Do you believe in stork babies?


COULTON: We would just accept stork. That's fine. I see what you're saying. Some babies come from a stork and some from other places, I guess.

EISENBERG: That's right. But I've actually never thought - what brings a stork its baby? That is a really intense question.

COULTON: Just a smaller stork, I think.


EISENBERG: It's just a series of storks within storks? Creepy.

COULTON: Yeah. Storks all the way down.


COULTON: (singing) Do you believe in these guys with their pots of gold? They could grant you three wishes in the days of old. Oh, but these days these little green-clad fellows are selling cereal with clover-shaped marshmallows.


SHUTLER: Leprechauns.

COULTON: Leprechauns is right.


EISENBERG: Leprechauns are not recession-proof. Do you understand me?

COULTON: That's right. They're entitled.

EISENBERG: That's right.

COULTON: They're entitled to get whatever job they can get.

EISENBERG: They've had a hard time.

COULTON: Just talking cereal. That's fine. I'm not going to judge them.

EISENBERG: Pots of gold are gone.

COULTON: That's right. There's no more gold. I'm glad that people don't get their news from this show.



COULTON: (singing) Do you believe in this thing? Did you hear that sound? I can't get to sleep because someone's walking around. I can't see him. But I know he's here. He's rattling his chains and stirring up some fear.


COULTON: Stewart.

SHUTLER: The boogeyman.


ART CHUNG: I don't think boogeymen carry chains.



SHUTLER: Mine did.

EISENBERG: Yeah. They do. Canadian ones, I think do.


CHUNG: I don't think we can accept that. Sorry.

COULTON: Tracey, do you want to steal?

RHYS: I would love to steal.


RHYS: I think that's ghosts.

COULTON: Ghosts. Yes. I'm so amazed that you were so sure that boogeymen don't carry chains. I don't want to undermine you.


COULTON: (singing) Do you believe in this thing? Did you know I would ask? Knowing what I'm thinking is no small task. Dionne Warwick and her network knew if you paid by the minute they were there for you.


COULTON: Stewart?

SHUTLER: Psychics.

COULTON: Psychics is right.


COULTON: Here's your final question.


COULTON: (singing) Do you believe in these things? Gentle, pure, and white. In Renaissance tapestries they reach their height. You could catch one but only if you're a virgin. Or you could just create one with a horse and a surgeon.



COULTON: Yes. Tracey.

RHYS: Unicorns.

COULTON: Unicorns. That's right.


COULTON: Please, nobody at home try to create a unicorn with a horse and a surgeon. That would not be right.

EISENBERG: Oh. I didn't know that thing about virgins.

COULTON: Yeah. No, it's true.

EISENBERG: Yeah. You can't be all sullied or whatever to get a unicorn.

COULTON: They're very picky. Unicorns are very picky.

EISENBERG: They're very picky.

COULTON: So, Art, that was the last clue. How'd we do over here?

CHUNG: That was a close one but I believe Tracey is our winner.

EISENBERG: Congratulations, Tracey.


EISENBERG: Stewart, our Canadian friend. Give him a huge round of applause. Tracey, you'll be moving on to our Ask Me One More final round. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.