Lightning Fill In The Blank

Mar 3, 2018
Originally published on March 16, 2018 9:52 am
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many Fill In The Blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Luke and Paula each have two. Roxanne has three.

SAGAL: All right, here we go. We have flipped a coin. And Paula has elected to go second. So Luke, you're up first. Fill In The Blank. During a meeting on Wednesday, President Trump called on Congress to make substantial changes to America's blank laws.

LUKE BURBANK: Gun.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, officials at the U.N. accused North Korea of sending chemical weapons supplies to blank.

BURBANK: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the Supreme Court declined to consider a White House request to allow President Trump to end the blank program.

BURBANK: DACA.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, ride-share giant blank announced a new service to help people get to the doctor.

BURBANK: Uber.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in California was charged with a DUI after police caught him blanking on a Los Angeles freeway.

BURBANK: Singing karaoke.

SAGAL: Riding a horse. On Sunday...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...A 15-minute dance party closed out the 2018 blanks.

BURBANK: Winter Olympics.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Pizza Hut dethroned Papa Johns as the official pizza of blank.

BURBANK: The NFL.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Pennsylvania were able to easily identify a man suspected...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Of stealing meatballs thanks to blank.

BURBANK: The sauce that was all over his face.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man named...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...Leahman Potter broke into his neighbor's garage and swiped an entire crockpot of meatballs...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...After getting...

BURBANK: Who's cooking meatballs in their garage, by the way?

SAGAL: Well, you know, put it out there.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Maybe to put it out there to cool. Who knows? After getting the call, cops rushed to the scene where they found Potter standing on the front porch covered in marinara sauce.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Officers charged him with burglary, trespassing and theft and say they expect all the charges to stick as this is the first time they've ever caught a criminal red-handed, red-mouthed and red-pants'd (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: How did Luke do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Almost perfect. Seven right. Fourteen more points. Can they catch a total of 16?

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Well done, Luke. All right, Paula. You're up next. Fill In The Blank. In a series of tweets on Wednesday, President Trump called out Attorney General blank.

PAULA POUNDSTONE, BYLINE: Sessions.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, the production company cofounded by disgraced producer blank announced it was filing for bankruptcy.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, geez. Weinstein.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After he was spotted in the crowd double-fisting beers at a 9 a.m. match, the husband of a Canadian Olympic curler released a statement saying blank.

POUNDSTONE: It's really the only way I can watch the game.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He said, quote, "I'm not a drunk. I'm just Canadian."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, a group of doctors reported seeing an uptick in nose jobs from people hoping to make their blanks look better.

POUNDSTONE: License photo.

SAGAL: Their selfies look better. On Wednesday, music streaming service blank filed plans for an IPO scheduled for later this month.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: These are much harder than Luke's.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: What's the music streaming service? I don't even know the name of it. Oh, Spotify.

SAGAL: Spotify, yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah - just came to me.

BURBANK: Yeah.

SAGAL: A mail carrier in Florida has found herself...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...In hot water after refusing to deliver mail to blank.

POUNDSTONE: Nudists.

SAGAL: You're exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah, you knew that one.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: I didn't know, though. (laughter).

SAGAL: For months, the unidentified mail carrier had refused to even enter the nudist colony because she's offended by their, quote, "naked lifestyle." The furious nudists have taken the issue up with the postal service and say they hope to have a resolution soon. But have no fear, UPS says it will continue to make deliveries regardless of the size, shape or age of your package.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she got four right. Eight more points. Total of 10. That's not so bad, Paula.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: So in a few moments, once she's won, how many will Roxanne have gotten right?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Seven is hard.

KURTIS: Seven to win.

ROBERTS: Seven is hard.

SAGAL: Seven is hard. All right...

KURTIS: Seven to win.

POUNDSTONE: See, she already knew what she had to have to win, though.

SAGAL: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: She's there with the abacus there on the table.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Roxanne, this is for the game. Fill In The Blank. On Thursday, the Dow dropped over 500 points after Trump announced blanks on steel and aluminum.

ROBERTS: Tariffs.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the California Democratic party declined to endorse senior senator blank.

ROBERTS: Dianne Feinstein.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the Department of Education said it would investigate Michigan State University's handling of Larry Nassar, a former doctor for the blank.

ROBERTS: For the U.S. gymnastics team.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a night of partying in West Virginia, a man woke up to find he had blank.

ROBERTS: A $1,600 Uber ride to New Jersey.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new report from the CDC found that 1 in 14 women blank during pregnancy.

ROBERTS: Drank.

SAGAL: No, smoked. On Monday, a judge ruled that Pharma bro blank would be held responsible for over $10 million in corporate losses.

ROBERTS: Martin Shkreli.

SAGAL: Yeah, Martin Shrr (ph) is good enough. So just go with it.

ROBERTS: Yeah, OK.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After losing thousands of dollars, a man in Michigan is warning other consumers...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...To avoid blanking.

ROBERTS: Bitcoin.

SAGAL: No. They should not attempt to buy a monkey online.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to a man named Don Abrego, he didn't just want a monkey. He, quote, "needed a monkey."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was like a monkey on his back. That's why he went online to find a breeder who said he would ship one to Michigan. Four thousand dollars later, Abrego realized he was being scammed. He's now dedicated himself to making sure other people don't make the same mistake.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Close. Five right. Ten more points. Total of 13. That means Luke has won.

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panel to predict, after last year's "La La Land"-"Moonlight" fiasco, what everyone will be talking about Monday after this year's Oscar ceremony.

But first let me tell you that WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is supported by NPR and Progressive insurance, offering a way to buy home insurance with their home quote explorer tool. Custom quotes and rates are available online. Learn more at progressive.com or 1-800-Progressive. Now that's progressive.

Lumber Liquidators, supporting rebuilding efforts in Aransas County, Texas, which was affected by Hurricane Harvey, providing materials, support and money to help rebuild schools in the county. More at lumberliquidators.com.

And The Little Market, a nonprofit organization founded by women to empower female artisans in developing countries around the world. An online store offering a collection of goods and gifts with a commitment to fair trade. More at thelittlemarket.com.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions and Doug Berman, the benevolent overlord. Philip Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Tyler Greene. Our interns are Emily Delaney (ph) and Giana Cappadonna (ph). Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to Boka Restaurant Group in Chicago for feeding us so very well. B.J. Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills and Miles Doornbos and Sasha Stewart (ph). Technical direction from Lorna White. Our CFO's Colin Miller. Public address announcer, that's Paul Friedman. Our production coordinator is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. The executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Michael Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.