Lightning Fill In The Blank

Jun 9, 2018
Originally published on June 9, 2018 1:00 pm
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores.

BILL KURTIS: Luke has three. Peter has four. Bim has five.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, Luke. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, Paul Ryan disputed the administration's claim that the blank illegally spied on the Trump campaign in 2016.

LUKE BURBANK: FBI.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Howard Schultz stepped down as the executive chair of blank, fueling suspicion that he would run for president in 2020.

BURBANK: Starbucks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Afghan President Ashraf Ghani announced he had signed a temporary cease-fire with the blank.

BURBANK: Taliban.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, President Trump commuted the life sentence of Alice Marie Johnson at the request of blank.

BURBANK: A drone carrying Kim Kardashian West.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A bar in Colorado has offered a patron free drinks for life after blank.

BURBANK: It served him a tequila shot that had a poisonous worm in the bottom of it.

SAGAL: No. They offered the patron free drinks for life after an off-duty FBI agent danced so hard that his gun fell out of his holster while he was doing a backflip and accidentally shot the patron in the leg.

BURBANK: Yeah, but they say the only answer for a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun doing a backflip on a dance floor.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Tesla shareholders rejected a motion to strip blank of his role as chairman.

BURBANK: Elon Musk.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite months of controversial media appearances, Ye, the latest album from blank, debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard charts.

BURBANK: Kanye West.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a section of an art gallery in London was closed this week thanks to a fire caused by blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BURBANK: The art.

SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BURBANK: Oh.

SAGAL: ...Because the answer was a bunch of rotten fish suddenly exploding, which was the art.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: South Korean artist Lee Bul created an installation that consists of 15 rotting fish sitting in plastic bags. The piece is called "Majestic Splendor." Unfortunately, before a showing of the piece at the Hayward Gallery in London, the chemicals inside the bags reacted with the hot lights, causing the fish to spontaneously combust.

Gallery owners say that the fire caused minimal damage and that the exhibit's grand opening will go on as planned. They're also excited to report that now in addition to wine, the first 15 people through the door will be served a fully cooked, individually wrapped fish.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Luke do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Coming back strong. Seven right, 14 more points, total of 17.

SAGAL: Miraculous.

BURBANK: Wow. Big.

SAGAL: All right, Peter, you're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, Robert Mueller's team accused blank of witness tampering.

PETER GROSZ: Oh, Manafort.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite fears that they'd overcrowded the ticket, Democrats were not shut out in blank's primaries on Tuesday.

GROSZ: California.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to CNN this week, the White House quietly let go Kelly Sadler, the communications aide who was caught mocking blank.

GROSZ: John McCain.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the State Department evacuated two more diplomats from blank who say they became ill after hearing strange noises.

GROSZ: A Chinese embassy, or...

SAGAL: Yeah, China. Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During an interview on CNN this week, Kellyanne Conway accidentally called President Trump blank.

GROSZ: Melania. But it wasn't that.

SAGAL: No.

GROSZ: I remember what it was.

SAGAL: She called President Trump the Commander of Cheese.

GROSZ: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Dang it.

SAGAL: Dozens of luxury car owners in Canada say their rides...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Have been vandalized by blanks.

GROSZ: Well, Luke had a lot of luck by just saying, the art, before, so I'll say the art.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

BURBANK: How dare you?

SAGAL: No. They're being vandalized by feral horny peacocks.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Which is art, in a way.

SAGAL: In a way.

GROSZ: In some ways.

SAGAL: Residents in British Columbia say these roving bands of feral peacocks are attacking their cars. The problem is the male birds get very aggressive during mating season. And apparently, they see their reflection in the car's paint and think it's another peacock, so they attack. It's either that, or they're still pissed VW lied about the diesel emissions.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Very touchy. Bill, how did Peter do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Peter got four, right eight more points, total of 12.

SAGAL: All right. How many, then, does Bim need to win?

KURTIS: Well, she needs six to tie and seven to win.

SAGAL: All right, Bim, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, President Trump claimed that he had the absolute right to blank himself.

(LAUGHTER)

BIM ADEWUNMI: I want to be rude, but he said pardon.

SAGAL: Yes, he did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Supreme Court narrowly ruled in favor of a Colorado baker who refused to make a cake for blank.

ADEWUNMI: A gay couple.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Fuego volcano in blank erupted several times, forcing thousands of people to evacuate their homes.

ADEWUNMI: Guatemala.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police raiding the apartment of a man in Florida found blank.

ADEWUNMI: A roving band of peacocks.

SAGAL: No. A monkey, three box turtles, two red-footed tortoises and a skink, (singing) and a partridge stolen from the local zoo. This week, new research suggests that kids who blank eventually move on to cigarettes.

ADEWUNMI: Vape.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, NASA published new research from the Curiosity rover about possible life on blank.

ADEWUNMI: Mars.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a British woman trapped by a big spider...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Finally escaped by blanking.

ADEWUNMI: Feeding it broccoli powder.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: By ordering KFC and having the delivery driver kill it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So this woman is, like, in her apartment. She looks up, and she sees that this enormous spider has spun a web over the door, so she cannot leave. She's terrified of, like, walking into it and becoming spider food. So she's like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? I can't get it on my - I know. I will call KFC, who apparently delivers in Britain.

BURBANK: Yeah.

SAGAL: Not doing a lot for the sophisticated reputation there.

ADEWUNMI: (Laughter).

SAGAL: And the delivery guy comes. And he opens the door. And he sees the spider, and he goes, (startled) ah. And she says, kill it. And he says, I hate spiders. And so apparently he was scared of spiders, too, but he finally caught it and flushed down the toilet, or he fed it fried chicken until it died of joy. I don't know.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: I thought you were going to say he was afraid, so he called pizza.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Bim do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She got five right, 10 more points, total of 15, trailing Luke, who is our champion.

(APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: Boo. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.