Lightning Fill In The Blank

Jul 14, 2018
Originally published on July 14, 2018 12:08 pm
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Paula and Adam each have two, and Faith has three.

SAGAL: All right. We have flipped a coin. Paula has elected to go second. So, Adam, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Senate passed a symbolic vote condemning President Trump's blanks on Chinese goods.

ADAM BURKE: Tariffs.

SAGAL: Right...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, President Trump pardoned the two ranchers accused of starting fires on public land in blank.

BURKE: Is that Oregon?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After over 20 years of war, Eritrea and blank agreed to a peace deal on Monday.

BURKE: Ethiopia?

SAGAL: Right. On Tuesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...The Trump administration cut $20 million in grants that help people get coverage under blank.

BURKE: Obamacare.

SAGAL: Right. New footage...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...From the International Space Station shows that Earth now has a blank so big, it can be seen from space.

BURKE: Midlife crisis.

SAGAL: No, it - well...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kind of sort of because it's a giant drawing of a wiener someone drew in the mud.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After admitting to using a racial slur during a conference call, the founder of pizza chain blank resigned as chairman.

BURKE: Papa John's...

SAGAL: Right. On Thursday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...NASA admitted that 40 years ago, they may have accidentally destroyed evidence of life on blank.

BURKE: Mars?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a Canadian woman accused of stealing a car...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Near an airport apologized, explaining that she blank.

BURKE: Thought it was her car?

SAGAL: No, she thought it was a rental car.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After arriving at the airport, the elderly woman rented a black Nissan. But thanks to the mix up, she wound up accidentally stealing an identical car whose owner had left his keys in the ignition. No one realized the mistake until two weeks later when the woman returned the car, completely unaware she was now a felon.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Happy ending. Everything got straightened out. The woman inspired the new hit PlayStation 4 game, Grandma Theft Auto.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, Adam did well I think, did he not...

KURTIS: He did very well. Six right, 12 more points. He has a total of 14 in the lead right now...

SAGAL: Very well. All right, Paula.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Paula. You're up next. Fill in the blank...

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: After emails leaked of him boasting about VIP treatment, a judge ordered that Trump associate blank be moved to a different jail.

POUNDSTONE: Manafort.

SAGAL: Right. On Sunday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...A deadly blank in California crossed the border into Oregon.

POUNDSTONE: Fire.

SAGAL: Right. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Starbucks announced it would completely phase out blanks by 2020.

POUNDSTONE: Straws.

SAGAL: Right. On Monday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Senate Majority Leader blank was chased from a restaurant by protesters.

POUNDSTONE: McConnell.

SAGAL: Right. A man...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...In Florida pulled over by police for driving under the influence told police that he wasn't drinking while driving. He was blank.

POUNDSTONE: Only drank when he was at stop signs.

SAGAL: You are exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, social media site blank began purging millions of fake and suspicious accounts.

POUNDSTONE: Twitter.

SAGAL: Yes. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Kim Jong Un skipped a meeting with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo in order to blank.

POUNDSTONE: Blow up a balloon of (vocalizing).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. To - he skipped the visit with the secretary of state to visit a potato farm.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, OK...

SAGAL: A burglar in Washington called the police on himself...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After he broke into a blank and could not escape.

POUNDSTONE: Oh. He broke into one of those, like, escape rooms...

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Roy - Rye Wardlaw broke into the escape room from the back door and, after ransacking the place looking for valuables, tried to leave the same way. But he broke off the handle. The door wouldn't budge. And then, he tried to leave the front, but he couldn't figure out how to get the entrance unlocked. Panicked, he called the police for help. Officers arrested him as soon as they arrive. But instead of taking a mug shot, they just had him pose with one of those signs that said, I was beaten by the NW Escape Room Experience.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Look out. Paula is on fire. She got seven right...

FAITH SALIE: Wow.

KURTIS: ...Fourteen more points, total of 16, taking over the lead...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many then does Faith need to win?

KURTIS: Seven...

SAGAL: Oh, my God. Here we go, Faith. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, two British Cabinet secretaries resigned over the plan for blank.

SALIE: Brexit.

SAGAL: Right. On Tuesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...The U.K. fined a social media site blank over $600,000 for its role in the Cambridge Analytica scandal.

SALIE: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right. Thanks to...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Dangers posed by massive flooding, this week, 2 million people in blank were told to evacuate their homes.

SALIE: Japan.

SAGAL: Right. Late...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Wednesday, Elon Musk announced he was going to help fix the water problem in blank.

SALIE: Flint, Mich.

SAGAL: Yes...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in California was shocked this week when he found a bear blanking on his property.

SALIE: Playing pingpong.

SAGAL: No, the bear was soaking in his hot tub and drinking a margarita.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, demolition crews tore down the iconic launch towers at Florida's blank.

SALIE: Oh, Cape Canaveral.

SAGAL: Yes. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...British actors complained that...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Audience members ruined their performance of "Titanic The Musical" by blanking.

SALIE: Yelling watch out, there's a glacier.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: By watching the World Cup on their phones.

SALIE: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, that's terrible.

SAGAL: England's penalty shootout against Colombia's one of the defining moments of this year's World Cup. It also happened to coincide with the Nottingham Royal Theatre's production of "Titanic The Musical." So during the performance, actors say audience members were clearly watching the match on their phones, with one woman going so far as to yell yes every time...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...England scored a goal. And if that weren't bad enough, during the climactic scene where the Titanic hits an iceberg and starts to sink into the sea, one audience member jumped out of his seat and accused the boat of flopping.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Draw me like your French players...

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Faith do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Not quite.

SAGAL: Aw...

KURTIS: Paula Poundstone is our winner this week...

POUNDSTONE: Oh, my gosh.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.