Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
6:20 pm
Fri March 7, 2014

Panel Round One

Originally published on Sat March 8, 2014 12:03 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everyone they can join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago. For tickets and more information, go to wbez.org, and you can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Faith, scientists at the University of Indiana have pinpointed the best way to crush a man's pride, next time you want to do that. What is that way?

FAITH SALIE: I mean, it's beyond the obvious, like rejection or saying is that all?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yes.

MIKE BIRBIGLIA: I don't see this answer topping is that all.

(LAUGHTER)

BIRBIGLIA: I mean, she wasn't even saying it to me, and I feel terrible about myself.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I know. She said it. I actually - people can't see me right now. I'm curled up behind my podium weeping. It's terrible.

SALIE: Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: Here's your excuse. I mean, here's your excuse - I don't know where that came from.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

BIRBIGLIA: Oh, that was excellent. That was so much better than anything anyone could ever writer.

SALIE: Peter, I don't need any excuses. Just hold me.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Obviously, I'm having a combat flashback here.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Let's back up and say here is your hint. It's like, after you, big guy. Right this way, right through here.

SALIE: Hold the door open for a man?

SAGAL: Exactly that, yes, to hold the door open for a man.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Scientists say holding a door open for a man to walk through strips a man of honor, self-esteem, and power, not to mention the muscles in his arms will atrophy from lack of use. According to the journal Social Influence, this seemingly helpful gesture is really social castration. If you want to let a man feel good about himself, just let him do what he usually does and helplessly push on the door that says pull until he gets frustrated and kicks it.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Is this true, gentlemen on stage with me?

ADAM FELBER: The holding the door thing?

SALIE: Is this the worst thing I could do to you is open a door for you?

FELBER: It sounds great.

(LAUGHTER)

BIRBIGLIA: Even you describing it is turning me on. What are you doing after the show?

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: I enjoy holding a door for my wife, though. It's a nice thing. It's a fun thing to do.

BIRBIGLIA: It's literally the least you can do, but it makes you feel good. It makes you feel good, absolutely.

FELBER: I had thought it was the most I could do. That was like - those are my all-star days you're talking about.

BIRBIGLIA: I held the door for her today.

FELBER: Yeah.

SAGAL: What do you mean you're angry at me, honey? I held the door for you just last week.

BIRBIGLIA: You'd still be outside if I hadn't.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists explore life after Alex Trebeck. It's our Bluff the Listener. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play.

Support for NPR comes from NPR stations, and: Carbonite, providing automatic cloud backup for small business computers and servers, details at Carbonite.com; Newman's Own Foundation, giving all profits from Newman's Own to charity and pursuing the common good for over 30 years; and Lumber Liquidators, offering a variety of sustainably harvested flooring, including pre-finished and stained at 1-800-HARDWOOD.

We'll be back in a minute, with more of WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! from NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.