BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Moshe Kasher, Roxanne Roberts and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago Peter Sagal.
(APPLAUSE)
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you Bill. In just a minute, Bill is selected as Rhyme Magazine's Person of the Year. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
Roxanne, ever since Mitt Romney said he wasn't going to run for president again, we wondered what he was going to do with himself. Well, now we know. For his first big public event since then, he's going to try something different, what?
ROBERTS: Boxing.
SAGAL: Right. There you are.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: You know against who?
ROBERTS: I want to say it's like Evander Holyfield.
SAGAL: It is in fact Evander Holyfield. Very good.
ROBERTS: OK, all right.
SAGAL: He is going to do a charity boxing match against Evander Holyfield. Mitt Romney - boxer. It's the thrilla in vanilla.
(LAUGHTER)
MOSHE KASHER: He's really going to fight Evander Holyfield?
SAGAL: Yeah, it's - I mean, why would he do this? Well, if Mitt Romney's presidential campaigns have taught us anything, it's that he loves losing at things.
KASHER: Especially to black America.
SAGAL: Yeah that's true. Well, the reason it's going on is Mitt Romney has gotten involved with this charity that fights blindness around the world. That's great. Evander Holyfield is doing it because what would you do if someone offered you the chance to punch Mitt Romney as much as you like?
BRIAN BABYLON: Now wait a minute, Mitt Romney's not - is not punch - I mean, you don't want to punch Mitt Romney.
KASHER: No, you want to rob him and take all that money for yourself.
BABYLON: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Isn't it a little weird though when you say to yourself, what can I do to do good in the world? Let me think. Jimmy Carter went to Africa, got rid of Guinea worm.
BABYLON: I'm just going to run from a black man in the ring. That sounds insane.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: I...
BABYLON: But I want to see it. I'm sorry. I still want to see it.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: Well, I mean, he doesn't want to just do good, he wants people to see him doing good.
SAGAL: And they will see him without a shirt on 'cause he said he will not wear a shirt.
BABYLON: Honestly, that's really what I want to see.
SAGAL: Really?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Brian, a series of photos released this week have many in England speculating that a member of the British Armed Services did what while standing near the the Duchess of Cambridge, Miss Kate Middleton?
BABYLON: Did he give her like the rabbit ears?
SAGAL: No.
BABYLON: Did he...
SAGAL: We are gathering evidence. The evidence for this is not so much anything but Kate Middleton's facial expression.
BABYLON: He gave her a little pinch?
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: Oh, can I steal from Brian?
SAGAL: Go ahead, yeah.
KASHER: He farted.
SAGAL: That's what they think, yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: In the photos, Kate and William, Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, are posing with soldiers in formal dress at a St. Patrick's Day event. And in several of the photos, the Duchess appears to be holding her nose and trying not to laugh. Of course, this is a huge breach of decorum in Great Britain. When somebody farts, you're supposed to hold your pinky in the air.
(LAUGHTER)
BABYLON: How do you do a fart investigation though? What do you...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: If you're the British tabloids, you have nothing better to do.
BABYLON: Is it like DNA?
KASHER: No, that's what the next season of "The Jinx" is about.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
ROBERTS: These are all the guys that their job is to stand there stone faced anyway, right?
BABYLON: Oh these are the muffin hat guys?
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: Honestly though, to their credit, they are called beefeaters. What else are they supposed to do but fart?
SAGAL: That's true.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Brian, organizers of a youth conference in England want to make sure everyone has a good time. So according to the daily mail, they're asking participants not to do what?
BABYLON: I would say take pictures?
SAGAL: No. I'll give you a hint. The last thing they want them to do is stand up and do this. That's even more threatening.
BABYLON: What?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: What do people - at the end of presentations, what do people sometimes stand up and...
BABYLON: Oh, stand up and clap.
SAGAL: Right. So they don't want them to...
BABYLON: Clap.
SAGAL: Yes. They don't want them to clap.
(APPLAUSE)
BABYLON: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SAGAL: Instead of clapping, which can be anxiety causing, attendees at the National Union of Students Conference are being told that they should express their enthusiasm for the speakers with jazz hands.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Put up your hands, wave them around, wiggle your fingers, that will show the speaker you're happy. They say clapping and cause anxiety, for reasons that might be related to noise sensitivity and/or memories of gonorrhea.
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: A lot of kids have gonorrhea.
SAGAL: Oh yeah. Well apparently many critics say this is, you know, sensitivity trigger warnings gone too far. But because criticism can cause anxiety for a lot of people, critics have been asked to express those feelings by simply standing up and doing the robot.
(LAUGHTER)
BABYLON: But this - jazz hands, like the side of the road attraction. Like, hey, come buy my spare tires - that thing.
ROBERTS: No, no, no, no. This - jazz hands.
BABYLON: Oh no.
KASHER: Please don't do that. I'm super triggered by jazz hands.
SAGAL: I know. I had a terrible experience seeing a Bob Fosse film once and I just can't deal.
BABYLON: Honestly, if I did a comedy show and I was like, thank you, good night, and people started doing jazz hands, I would stop smoking weed.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "CLAP YOUR HANDS")
SIA: (Singing) Clap your hands. Clap your hands. Turn my lights on my nights this is life and we only get one chance. Clap your hands. Clap your hands. Come on dance, take a chance on romance... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.