BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR in WBEZ Chicago this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Paula Poundstone and Maz Jobrani. Here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill stuffs your stocking full of rhymes. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIt-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, a new study shows that in addition to burning fossil fuels and deforestation, there is something even more common that's contributing to global warming. What is it? Something people do.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Something people do. It has nothing to do with normal activities, I assume?
SAGAL: Oh, it does actually. Something that a lot of people - more people want to do than accomplish it.
ROBERTS: Lose weight.
SAGAL: Exactly right. Losing weight.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A pair researchers in Australia have determined that the fat we burn through exercise or trying to squeeze into our skinny jeans doesn't just disappear, right? It's processed as energy in the body, which through a chemical reaction turns it into water energy and carbon dioxide. That CO2 goes straight into the atmosphere through that exhaust pipe you call a mouth.
(LAUGHTER)
PAULA POUNDSTONE: If our fat is energy than why can't we power our own house? Why can't I just hook myself up to my thermostat and keep it at a nice 70 in my living room?
SAGAL: You know, you could.
POUNDSTONE: Are we onto something Peter?
SAGAL: You could. I mean, well, have you ever wondered why if you do exercise you get hot? You warm up, right?
POUNDSTONE: I haven't had that experience.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: If you were to exercise...
POUNDSTONE: I've wondered what would happen if I exercised.
SAGAL: Have you ever been cold and you jumped up?
POUNDSTONE: I'm cold right now. My nose is cold right now. They keep it really cold in here.
SAGAL: And on the times when you've been cold, have you ever jumped up and down or rubbed your hands or just moved around to warm up?
POUNDSTONE: No.
SAGAL: You've never done that? Can I recommend you try it next time?
POUNDSTONE: Yeah.
POUNDSTONE: How do you move your nose up and down to warm up?
SAGAL: You can rub it.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, jeez.
SAGAL: Yeah. Paula, Vogue magazine recently moved their offices to the brand-new One World Trade Center.
POUNDSTONE: Well, you are talking to the right person about that.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I know your monthly copy of Vogue is well thumbed.
POUNDSTONE: Oh my gosh.
ROBERTS: She gave herself a subscription for Christmas.
POUNDSTONE: That's right.
SAGAL: A an employee bonus.
POUNDSTONE: That was my Christmas bonus.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So anyway, the staff at Vogue has a big problem. What is that problem in their new offices?
POUNDSTONE: OK, they have a problem in that office?
SAGAL: Yeah.
POUNDSTONE: In that building? In the new building?
SAGAL: The problem is they ended up sharing the office with people they did not - well, with things they did not expect or want.
POUNDSTONE: Hackers?
SAGAL: No.
POUNDSTONE: Bugs. There's bugs?
SAGAL: No, larger.
POUNDSTONE: There's rats?
SAGAL: Yes there's rats.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: The fancy staffers at Vogue are afraid to step foot in their new offices due to a rat infestation. Said one employee of the magazine, quote, "a bunch ate through the ceiling of a sports editor's office and crawled all over his desk and left poops on his keyboard," unquote. This raises two questions - there's a sports editor at Vogue?
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, that was my first question.
SAGAL: Second question - poops?
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, it's multiple poop.
SAGAL: So the rats apparently got in through the vents.
POUNDSTONE: Apparently you've only had a singular incident.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: You just get like one little pellet.
ROBERTS: Have they seen these rats or are they just identifying them?
SAGAL: No, apparently they've seen the rats. The rats are running around.
ROBERTS: I'm just wondering if this was sort of - they're going from, you know, sort of poop evidence.
SAGAL: No, no. They yeah - I mean, it could - I mean, you never know. You have to see the rats because, you know, if you're just going by the tiny little poops it could just be the models.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Very skinny people is what I'm saying. They don't eat a lot.
POUNDSTONE: I think that's fair game. I do.
MAZ JOBRANI: That's a good one.
POUNDSTONE: They started it after all.
JOBRANI: That's a good one.
SAGAL: Roxanne, after unveiling a new campaign urging drivers not to jerk their steering wheels when skidding on snowy roads, the South Dakota Office of Highway Safety Immediately pulled that campaign. Apparently people were misinterpreting the campaign slogan which was what?
ROBERTS: I think it was don't jerk and drive.
SAGAL: You're exactly right Roxanne.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: No, don't laugh. What's wrong with you people? It's a serious problem. Plain state like South Dakota - the snow, ice come, people hit an icy patch, they jerk the wheel, makes things worse, right? They crash. So the state officials wanted to fix that. They created a campaign to educate the public to the danger called Don't Jerk and Drive. It's direct, it's easy to remember, and almost impossible to misconstrue in any way.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So they printed up these giant billboards, don't jerk and drive, and posters.
ROBERTS: I didn't know about the billboards. Really?
SAGAL: Oh yeah.
JOBRANI: Someone's going to be like, wait a minute. Like, that's not going to - I mean, and they got all the way to the - 'cause there was a guy who made the billboard. Even he could've been like - he could've been like, are you sure about this?
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: You know, maybe they were in the meeting and they did each individually in their own head think jerk and drive? And they - and, you know, but they didn't want to seem immature.
SAGAL: Right. Like "The Emperor's New Clothes", sort of.
POUNDSTONE: Right, exactly. They're like, yeah, don't jerk and drive. I know what that means.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Anybody thinking anything else? No. No. We're thinking you mean turn the wheel, that's right. They're very mature in South Dakota.
SAGAL: I understand.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "COOL JERK")
THE CAPITOLS: (Signing) We know a cat who can really do the cool jerk. We know a cat who can really do the cool jerk. Well, this cat they're talking about I wonder who could it be? 'Cause I know I'm the heaviest cat... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.