Ask Me Another
11:32 am
Thu August 1, 2013

Real Housewives Of Greek Mythology

Originally published on Wed November 27, 2013 5:06 pm

What's your favorite franchise of Bravo's Real Housewives, Atlanta or New Jersey? How about The Acropolis? In this game, host Ophira Eisenberg stirs up the celestial domestic drama by performing imagined on-camera quotes from female Greek mythological figures. Can you guess the goddess?

Plus, Jonathan Coulton pays homage to another powerful lady with a cover of Bananarama's "Venus."

Copyright 2013 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Joining us now we have Chella Quint and John Rennie.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I'm not going to lie. I am intimidated by these contestants. John is the former editor-in-chief of Scientific American. Chella went to England to study Shakespeare and ended up becoming a citizen.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: So based on that, geniuses, I need to ask you this question. Do you watch any part of "The Real Housewives" franchise?

CHELLA QUINT: No.

JOHN RENNIE: I have a wife.

EISENBERG: Yes.

RENNIE: And so the answer, therefore, is yes. I see almost all of it.

EISENBERG: Oh.

QUINT: Wait. But I have a wife too.

EISENBERG: OK.

QUINT: But I don't watch that show.

EISENBERG: OK.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: This game is called Real Housewives of Greek Mythology. If the fearsome, powerful women of ancient Greek mythology were to walk amongst us today what would they do? They would appear on a reality show, of course. In this challenge I will provide an imagined on-camera quote and you tell us the Greek mythological figure that may have said it. And note - these include goddesses and other female characters. Sounds fun.

They call me the goddess of love but don't make me bring on the hate. I was born in sea foam and I'll down you in hatorade if I have to.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: John.

RENNIE: Aphrodite.

EISENBERG: Yeah. You got that.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Already "The Housewives" is paying off for you.

RENNIE: A little bit.

EISENBERG: Listen, it's no secret my husband Hades isn't the life of the party. I've even heard some girls call him dead behind my back. But after spending six months each year in the underworld, I rave like a rock star during my six months above ground.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Chella.

QUINT: Persephone?

EISENBERG: Yes, of course.

QUINT: Hey.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: People underestimate me. I'm not just some farm girl hick who got to Mount Olympus by running the harvest. I control the seasons too. And if you cross me, you're going to be living in a frosty winter all year long.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Chella.

QUINT: Hestia?

EISENBERG: Hmm. I'm sorry.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

RENNIE: Demeter.

EISENBERG: Yes. That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

RENNIE: Mother of Persephone.

EISENBERG: John, well done. My twin brother is into the arts but I was born for the hunt. Any man who questions my maidenhood will find themselves on the wrong end of my bow and arrow.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: John.

RENNIE: Artemis.

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: You kind of said that like a Greek god yourself. You were like Artemis!

(LAUGHTER)

RENNIE: I see her as one of the Jersey housewives of Greek mythology, yes.

EISENBERG: Yes. Oprah would call her a toxic friend. That is right. You may have heard about my husband's affairs but all of those trollops kept quiet after I got through with them. Zeus might be the king of the gods but I make the rules at home.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: John.

RENNIE: Hera

EISENBERG: Hera. That is right.

(APPLAUSE)

RENNIE: I'd just like to say, really, a lot of years spent watching "Xena: Warrior Princess" are actually paying off tremendously well for me.

(LAUGHTER)

QUINT: And believe it or not, I never watched that.

EISENBERG: It's funny how we come to this highbrow stuff from different avenues, right?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Totally. I'm with you. People hear Earth Mother and they think they can walk all over me. But my kids are Cyclops and Titans so if I can manage them, then take your best shot, ladies.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Chella.

QUINT: Gaia.

EISENBERG: You got that one. Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: This is your final question. I've got wings and there's no limit to how high I can fly. These women think they can bring me down? Well, I'm the goddess of victory so I hope they enjoy the stink of defeat.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Chella.

QUINT: Nike.

EISENBERG: Nike is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: John Chaneski.

Puzzle guru.

JOHN CHANESKI: The contestant that is going to go down in history today is John. Congratulations, John. You won that one.

EISENBERG: Congratulations, John.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: It was a tight game. You'll be moving on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show. Congratulations. Thank you so much, Chella.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "VENUS")

JONATHAN COULTON: (singing) Goddess on the mountain top. Burning like a silver flame. The summit of beauty and love. Venus was her name. She's got it. Yeah, baby, she's got it. I'm your Venus. I'm your fire at your desire. I'm your Venus. I'm your fire at your desire.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.