PETER SAGAL, HOST:
All right, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Charlie, detergent companies are now selling their product in pods, little balls of soap you throw into the washer rather than measuring it out. Well, Senator Chuck Schumer is warning that they pose a danger to the nation. How?
CHARLIE PIERCE: They're pollutants.
PIERCE: They make people lazy.
PIERCE: Because his mother used to scrub the clothes on a rock by the river.
P. J. O'ROURKE: He ate three of them.
PIERCE: And he loved it.
O'ROURKE: He ate three of them and he didn't feel very good.
SAGAL: P. J. is actually right.
PIERCE: Chuck Schumer ate them?
SAGAL: No, but he's afraid...
PIERCE: That people will eat, the kids will eat them.
SAGAL: Yes. He's afraid that people will eat them because he says they look delicious.
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SAGAL: Senator Schumer says, quote, "I saw one and I wanted to eat it. I don't know why they make them look so delicious," unquote.
O'ROURKE: Boy, he is a bright light of the Senate.
SAGAL: Isn't he, though?
O'ROURKE: Eating laundry - hey, where's Senator Schumer, we've got an important vote coming? He's out in the hall eating laundry detergent.
SAGAL: Remember, when you see Senator Schumer, if he's foaming at the mouth, it's probably not rabies.
PIERCE: And, you know, it gets really bad when you get hooked, too.
SAGAL: Yeah, I know.
PIERCE: When you're standing around the detergent aisle at like Stop N Shop, begging for quarters. Oh man, just one, just one, just one, just one.
SAGAL: They're small and they're sort of colorful and they look like candy. Tide is already addressing his concerns.
PIERCE: So do Legos, I mean...
SAGAL: That's true.
O'ROURKE: And you put chocolate sauce on them and they're not any good.
SAGAL: The Tide brand is already addressing concerns. To make sure no American eats them by mistake, from now on they'll make their little pods look like vegetables.
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