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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
Fri April 12, 2013
Panel Round Two
Originally published on Sat April 13, 2013 11:25 am
CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT, WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Faith Salie, and Alonzo Bodden. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you. In just a minute Carl lays down some sick rhymes in the controversial new song, "Accidental Limericist."
SAGAL: It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Alonzo, every year the meat industry sells countless, millions of pork chops, beef shoulders, tenderloins, other kinds of cuts of meat. Well, now they're making a big change intended to increase sales. What are they doing?
ALONZO BODDEN: Lowering the price?
SAGAL: Oh, no, no.
BODDEN: I have no idea. What...
SAGAL: Well, I mean, it's...
BODDEN: Taco Bell decided to use real beef.
SAGAL: No. Because they already do, Taco Bell lawyers, they already do.
SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. A steak by any other name would taste just as meat.
BODDEN: They're renaming it?
SAGAL: Yes, they're changing the names of all these cuts of meat.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Meat Producers are changing the names of over 350 cuts of meat saying that the names are too confusing for customers. Oh, that must be why we eat so little meat in this country.
BODDEN: Who is confused by the term pork chop?
FAITH SALIE: I am. Oh, I'm always confused.
BODDEN: What? That throws you.
SALIE: When I go to a steakhouse I always - I can never retain this. I always ask my husband to explain all the different cuts, the bone-in and filet mignon and never can remember.
BODDEN: OK. So if it says bone-in...
SALIE: I don't eat them.
BODDEN: Yeah, I'm going to try to help you with this.
SALIE: OK. Fair enough. Let's go, let's go.
BODDEN: If it says bone-in...
BODDEN: ...now I don't know what they call it under the new name...
BODDEN: ...but I'm going to go with that's the one that the bone is still in.
SAGAL: Yeah. It's too simple. There's like different kinds of pork chops. They're all called pork chops. So they're changing the names. They also wanted to sound more attractive, so they can charge more money. So something known as a pork butt today will be known as the Boston roast from now on.
SAGAL: There you go Boston, you're a synonym for butt.
LUKE BURBANK: Or if you're west of the Mississippi, a Kardashian cut.
BODDEN: Yeah, that'll work.
SAGAL: Alonzo, a hospital in Detroit has announced a huge advance in medical science. What?
BODDEN: Cheating death.
SAGAL: No. That's another hospital. That's in North Carolina. It's something - I know you were in the hospital recently - it's something that you would've loved to have on bedding.
BODDEN: Decent food.
SAGAL: Close. Well, not close but the other thing that everybody complains about in hospitals, especially if you have to get up and walk down the hall.
BODDEN: Oh, gowns that actually close?
SAGAL: Yes. They've invented a hospital gown that actually covers your backside.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: The worst part about going to the hospital is having to wear these open-back gowns. Thankfully, students at Detroit's Henry Ford Hospital have been working tirelessly for two-and-a-half years to create a less butt-exposing gown. It's made of thicker, warmer material that features a fold-over back that provides both access for the doctors and coverage. There's a double-breasted front making it perfect for the hospital prom.
SAGAL: Reviews have been overwhelmingly positive and it's been deemed the best attempt of covering an ass since the New York Times did 10 pages on Anthony Weiner.
SAGAL: Faith, during a recent trip to Germany, Russian President Vladimir Putin was interrupted when a topless female protester rushed to the stage. Instead of flinching or running away, Putin did what?
SALIE: Oh. He - did he do something kind to her?
SAGAL: He did something approving.
SALIE: Oh, well, he looked at her toplessness. He gave it a once or twice over.
SAGAL: He did and he registered his approval by doing what?
SALIE: Oh, by two thumbs up.
SAGAL: Yes, he did. That's what he did.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: All right. Security moved quickly to intercept the woman as she rushed the stage with a slogan written on her bare back, but not before Putin nodded approvingly and requested a private lap protest.
SAGAL: The randy Russian, this is true, gave the woman two thumbs up prompting Roger Ebert to sue him from heaven.
BURBANK: It's actually - the photos of this moment are sort of great because she's approaching him and he's obviously a person who has a huge security detail. And their job is to make sure to get in the way of anyone who's coming at him in an unexpected fashion.
BURBANK: And they're trying to block the lady and he's kind of being like, ooh, give it a minute. Let's see where this goes.
BURBANK: He's this unthreatened world leader who has someone running at them you've ever seen.
SAGAL: He was so distracted by her nakedness that not only did he have no idea what she was protesting, he couldn't remember afterwards anything else about her. To quote Putin, "I didn't make out if they were blond, chestnut haired or brunette." Our question is, what is the they in that sentence?
SALIE: That's so strange.
BODDEN: Do you think George Bush was reading that story saying, "They threw shoes at me."
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHER)
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.