Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
6:50 pm
Fri September 6, 2013

Panel Round Two

Originally published on Thu August 28, 2014 10:36 am

Copyright 2014 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Neko Case and Alonzo Bodden. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl scandalizes all of public radio when he performs his hit song, Blurred Rhymes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Look, by our standards, that was really good.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's the listener limerick challenge coming up. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Adam, John McCain has been one of the most vocal advocates of intervening in Syria. So it made a lot of sense that during Tuesday's long hearing about doing just that, McCain was photographed doing what?

ADAM FELBER: Playing poker on his iPhone.

SAGAL: That's exactly right, Adam.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

FELBER: Yeah.

SAGAL: He was caught doing this during the Senate hearing. It was a departure from his usual iPhone game of choice Angry Senators.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You can't really blame him, though. Even a man who endured torture for years in a Vietnamese prison camp cannot bear to hear John Kerry go on for three hours straight.

(LAUGHTER)

ALONZO BODDEN: But how do you knock a 140-year-old man who can use an iPhone?

SAGAL: That's right.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: I mean, do you understand, this is the only man who saw the invention of the phone.

SAGAL: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Isn't it amazing?

BODDEN: And the iPhone.

SAGAL: Right.

BODDEN: Like, he was around for both, so you have to give him...

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: ...you've got to give him some credit.

SAGAL: It's true. Neko, you can rent a car, you can rent a cop and now thanks to a small business in Pennsylvania, you can also rent a what?

NEKO CASE: I rent a lot of things. I'm trying to think of something I wouldn't have thought of.

SAGAL: What's the oddest thing you've rented?

CASE: A sword.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's pretty odd.

CASE: I rented two in the same day actually.

SAGAL: Really? Were you thinking of...

CASE: So I'm going to go with sword.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's not the answer but I'm curious, did you - were you thinking of stabbing somebody but you weren't ready to commit, what?

(LAUGHTER)

CASE: No, it was for a photo shoot.

SAGAL: Oh, OK.

CASE: But it was awesome.

SAGAL: I bet.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Back to the question.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. Why did it cross the road? Because you rented it for the next month.

CASE: A chicken?

SAGAL: You can rent a chicken.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: It's Rent a Chicken. If you're too chicken to buy a chicken, you can now rent a chicken. For 350 bucks a company called Rent the Chicken will deliver to you two hens, a chicken coop and annoyed phone calls from your neighbors at 4:30 a.m. The process begins when they walk you around the chicken and they mark any previous damage the chicken might have.

CASE: Its cloaca dented. We can't accept this chicken.

(LAUGHTER)

CASE: We're billing this to your MasterCard.

SAGAL: But this is for people who like, you know, think they might want to have chickens and aren't ready so they'll rent the chickens and see how it goes.

FELBER: Don't let them talk you into the undercoating.

SAGAL: That's terrible.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Adam, a lot of cars have keyless entry. You know, that's where the car can sense a transmitter in your pocket, starts right up for you. Well, the Japanese have invented a system in which you can start a car with your what?

FELBER: Mind.

(LAUGHTER)

CASE: You didn't even wait for him to be done.

FELBER: No, no, no.

He knew. He was using that power.

BODDEN: He already knew that. His car is running.

SAGAL: Yeah, no, not your mind.

FELBER: I just started my car.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Your phone.

SAGAL: No.

FELBER: Your chicken.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Go clucky, start car.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Give me - I'll take a hint on this one.

SAGAL: The system is installed - this is true - in the seat.

FELBER: Oh, so you - with your butt - you sit down.

SAGAL: You start the car with your butt, yes.

FELBER: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

FELBER: Is it individuated?

SAGAL: It is.

FELBER: It knows your butt.

SAGAL: This is the thing.

FELBER: You can never lend your friend your car.

SAGAL: That's what everybody says. Here's the thing. We know about fingerprint recognition and facial recognition. It's inevitable that we get to this day, butt recognition.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Oh, that is such a lawsuit waiting to happen because...

SAGAL: Why?

FELBER: ...because when do you really need your car to start? When you've injured your butt.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: And because you've injured it, the car doesn't recognize you. You can't drive to the hospital. It's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

BODDEN: How lazy did a Japanese think we Americans are...

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: ...that they're like, oh they can't lift their hand and press the button. That's too much work to start the car. Just let them sit their fat ass in the seat...

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: ...and away we go.

CASE: We kind of deserve that.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.