CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Roxanne Roberts, and Tom Bodett. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Carl.
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SAGAL: Thank you, Carl. In just a minute Carl heads to Sochi to compete in the Rhymathlon - that's half limericks, half target shooting.
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SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, this week a man came under fire for offering what service via Skype?
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Confessional.
SAGAL: No, close. A little - it's another ritual that's used in more extreme circumstances.
ROBERTS: CPR.
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SAGAL: No, no, no, no. You were right about the religious service.
ROBERTS: The confessional.
SAGAL: You were right about the - but more...
ROBERTS: Exorcism.
SAGAL: Yes, indeed.
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SAGAL: Exorcism via Skype.
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SAGAL: For just 300 bucks exorcist Bob Larson will rid you of demons while you're in the comfort of your own home.
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SAGAL: Now the International Catholic Association of exorcists - they must have great conventions...
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SAGAL: ...they say this can't work because the demon will quote "throw the computer across the room."
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SAGAL: Maybe, but the more likely reason it doesn't work is that mid exorcism your demon is going to get distracted and check Twitter instead.
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PAULA POUNDSTONE: Couldn't you use the postal service? Couldn't you write a letter to the demon?
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SAGAL: So, I mean, like you have chess by mail.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, exactly. Exorcism by mail.
SAGAL: Right. So you write a letter going, dear demon...
POUNDSTONE: Yeah.
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SAGAL: The power of Christ compels you.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah.
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SAGAL: Signed sincerely, the exorcist. And you send it...
POUNDSTONE: And then you write...
SAGAL: ...and a few days later you get back and it's, like, from the demon it says, ha-ha, your mother does obscene things in hell.
POUNDSTONE: Right. Yeah.
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SAGAL: Signed the demon and you say uh-huh. And you write another letter, the power of Christ compels you. And then you mail that.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, and then you say, and by the way my head just twisted around.
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SAGAL: Roxanne, Valentine's Day is coming up, and a shop in London is offering the perfect thing for those who don't have a date because they got dumped. What is it?
ROBERTS: I'm trying to think aside from another date. Is it revenge-related?
SAGAL: It is.
ROBERTS: It is revenge-related. Is it poison?
SAGAL: It is not poison.
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ROBERTS: I've known people...
SAGAL: It comes with pins you can stick in it.
ROBERTS: A voodoo doll.
SAGAL: Yes, indeed.
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SAGAL: Now you can use a custom-made voodoo doll...
ROBERTS: And where do the pins go?
SAGAL: Well, it's up to you.
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SAGAL: You get a custom-made voodoo doll to get back at your ex for those who don't want to go the traditional rives of arson or self loathing.
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SAGAL: Just submit a picture of your ex and you give him 30 bucks. They'll send you a voodoo doll bearing your ex's likeness which is just the sort of thing you want in your home when you start dating again.
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SAGAL: You can pick specific curses as well as sticking in the pins to lay on your ex. There's impotence, hair loss, quote "boob sag".
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SAGAL: Instructions that come with the doll say...
TOM BODETT: Boy, there's a lot of these dolls in circulation, isn't there?
SAGAL: Yeah.
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SAGAL: Paula, a new study shows...
POUNDSTONE: Oh boy.
SAGAL: ...yes, that doing what might help save your troubled marriage? Not yours but somebody's.
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POUNDSTONE: Yeah. Gee, give me a hint, Peter. I - this is not my area.
SAGAL: Well, you start out with something mild like "Sleepless in Seattle" then you make your way as you progress to "You've got Mail."
POUNDSTONE: A constant supply of Tom Hanks movies.
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SAGAL: Well, not just - well, that might help but the specific kind of...
POUNDSTONE: I think it would.
SAGAL: ...specific kind of Tom Hanks movies. These movies often...
POUNDSTONE: Love story movies?
SAGAL: Well, romantic comedies.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, romantic comedies. Well, that - yeah...
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SAGAL: Yeah, and movies about marriage. Scientists...
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, like Captain Phillips.
SAGAL: For example.
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POUNDSTONE: You know, I've said it before and I'm going to say it again, honestly if Johnny Depp does not win for that...
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SAGAL: Johnny Depp.
POUNDSTONE: ...there is no - you know, for the Academy Award.
SAGAL: Who did he play?
BODETT: The pirate.
POUNDSTONE: The pirate.
SAGAL: So what they say was that, you know, not only are you supposed to watch these movies but you're supposed to watch these movies and then talk about them with your partner. So you watch, say, Captain Phillips and you say, you know, when they hit the guy with the butt of the gun that was cruel and I should not hit you with the butt of a gun.
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SAGAL: And then the other person says, oh that's really nice of you to say. I would not like you to hit me with the butt of a gun.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, yeah, so it's, uh-huh, so you're able to use...
SAGAL: Yeah, but that's basically it.
POUNDSTONE: ...they're able to use the material to heal their own lives.
SAGAL: Well, to reflect upon good relationships. Now...
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I would think that it might cause - because a lot of romantic comedies obviously are very unrealistic.
SAGAL: Yes.
POUNDSTONE: You know, movies are very - so I would think they would cause maybe some friction. Like for example, say you watched "Sound of Music" and you're with your loved one that sometimes there's friction with. Don't you think there'd be a point where the woman might say, you know, you would never carry us over the Alps.
BODETT: Yup.
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SAGAL: My - I went to take my then wife to see the new version of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." And she said to me, you would never live a thousand years just to come back to me...
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SAGAL: ...as Dracula does for the character.
POUNDSTONE: I think that's a fair criticism.
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SAGAL: And I said, you're right, I said.
POUNDSTONE: Oh my god, you said the wrong thing.
SAGAL: I know.
POUNDSTONE: What, are you nuts?
SAGAL: No. I mean, I just didn't think it was fair to be compared to Dracula...
POUNDSTONE: No, it's...
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SAGAL: ...unfavorably.
POUNDSTONE: ...it's a total hypothetical. This was your chance to get in there with, of course I would. That's all you had to say...
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POUNDSTONE: ...because none of it's going to happen anyways.
SAGAL: Yeah, that's true.
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