BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm all about that bass, about that bass...
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KURTIS: Bill Kurtis. And here's your host of the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thank you everybody.
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SAGAL: So good. So good to see you. We got a great show for you today, especially because we're being joined later by the wonderful comedian Jenny Slate, the voice of Marcel the Shell with Shoes. But first we want to pay our respects to Serial, the podcast that became a worldwide phenomenon and ended its amazing first season this week. In tribute to Serial, instead of providing answers to our quiz questions today, we'll give you multiple scenarios that could be true and then muse about how much we'll never know.
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SAGAL: So if you want to give us a call to discuss the fallacy of human memory or just say, to hell with it, and answer the questions, give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.
NICK RIZZO: Hi, this is Nick from Las Vegas, Nevada.
SAGAL: Hey, Nick. How are things in Vegas?
RIZZO: They're great.
SAGAL: Now what do you do there?
RIZZO: I'm a paramedic in the Air Force out here.
SAGAL: Hey, so do you enjoy - 'cause I know that's hard work - do you enjoy all the pleasures of Las Vegas? The spinning lights and so?
RIZZO: I haven't hit any shows 'cause I just got stationed out here. But you know what I do like to do is to listen to Serial except you just ruined the ending for me.
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KURTIS: Well, it's over.
SAGAL: Nick, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a style columnist for the Washington Post. Miss Roxanne Roberts is here.
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ROXANNE ROBERTS: Hey, Nick.
SAGAL: Next, it's a comedian who will be of performing at the Mesa Arts Center in Mesa, Arizona on New Year's Eve. It's Paula Poundstone.
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PAULA POUNDSTONE: Hey, Nick.
RIZZO: Hi, Paula.
SAGAL: And then a comedian who will be performing right nearby there at the Tempe Improv in Tempe, Arizona on January 9 and 10...
MAZ JOBRANI: After you.
RIZZO: ...Maz Jobrani.
JOBRANI: Hey, Nick.
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RIZZO: Hello.
JOBRANI: Come to Arizona, you can see both of us.
RIZZO: All right.
SAGAL: Nick, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time? Bill Kurtis will now perform for you three quotations from the week's news. That's how we start our show it. If you correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize, Carl Kasell's voice on your home voicemail. Are you ready to play?
RIZZO: I'm ready.
SAGAL: Here is your first quote.
KURTIS: Viva cigars.
SAGAL: That was CNBC getting to the heart of the biggest story this week as the U.S. normalized relations with what country?
RIZZO: Cuba.
SAGAL: Yes indeed.
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SAGAL: Cuba.
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SAGAL: President Obama gave up on our policy of isolating Cuba after only 50 years of failure.
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SAGAL: Come on. Critics wanted to stick to our policy of simply waiting for the Castro brothers to drop dead. It's been 50 years, how much longer can they last? But the White House is telling its critics, you don't understand. We're sending over KFC, McDonald's and the Internet. We'll give them two weeks before they finally...
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POUNDSTONE: You know, I only wish Ricky Ricardo could've been alive to see this.
SAGAL: I know. Babalu.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, yeah. Apparently people in Cuba were crying, and I think you guys have just explained why, just knowing all that's coming their way. When you talk about American values, you can't help but think about the 20 percent off from Bed, Bath and Beyond.
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SAGAL: They'd be so amazed with that they'd be like there is something beyond the bath? What is it?
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SAGAL: What wonders await beyond the bath?
ROBERTS: Wait a minute. That's your Cuban accent?
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SAGAL: That's my - you know, I've - now that I - that's based on, you know, looking at old newsreels. Now that I can go to Cuba legally, I'm sure I'll be able to improve it.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, so you won't sound so much Chekov.
SAGAL: Exactly.
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SAGAL: All right, Nick your next quote comes from former first lady Barbara Bush who was speaking in the spring of last year.
KURTIS: We've had enough Bushes.
SAGAL: Apparently someone didn't agree. Who thinks America needs another Bush?
RIZZO: Jeb Bush does.
SAGAL: Jeb Bush does. Yes. Very good.
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SAGAL: Jeb Bush.
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SAGAL: The former governor of Florida announced he's running for president this week. Well, actually, he announced he's, quote, "excited to announce I will actively explore the possibility of running for president," unquote.
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POUNDSTONE: You know, I think when even his mother said no...
SAGAL: She backtracked later. She said, oh, he should do it if he wants.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, she said he should do it if he wants? That's because he had a fuss and wouldn't come to dinner.
SAGAL: Probably.
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SAGAL: Well, Jeb, as you all know, comes from a very impressive family. His grandfather, Prescott Bush was a senator. His father was vice president and then president. His brother is a weird reclusive painter.
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SAGAL: But Jeb is famously the smart one of the Bush - the Bush sons.
POUNDSTONE: Oh is he?
SAGAL: The one who was supposed to be president. You know what's interesting? If you do the math, George W. Bush became president eight years after his father. And if Jeb wins, it'll be eight years after his brother. So the Bushes are like cicadas with an eight year cycle.
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SAGAL: Observers knew Jeb Bush was preparing a run when they found his translucent husks stuck to a tree in Tallahassee.
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SAGAL: All right, Nick here is your last quote.
KURTIS: To retaliate, we should refuse to show all the comedies coming out of North Korea.
SAGAL: That was comedian Michael Ian Black talking about Sony Studio's decision to do what?
RIZZO: To remove "The Interview" from theaters.
SAGAL: Yeah, to cancel the release of the movie "The Interview." Very good.
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SAGAL: Just about everybody was looking forward to the Christmas Day release of the James Franco and Seth Rogen movie "The Interview." And by everybody, I mean James Franco, Seth Rogen and a good fraction of their immediate families. Then hackers who are linked to North Korea broke into Sony's computers, stole valuable information, and then threatened violence and worse if the movie was released so Sony canceled it. It worked. Why couldn't North Korea have gotten pissed like this back when they were making the "Sex And The City" movies?
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JOBRANI: I've been hearing that the movie's really bad.
SAGAL: Yes, there is that theory that the movie was terrible, was going to tank and by simply canceling it because of "terrorist threats," quote-unquote, they were able to save the millions of dollars it would have cost to promote it and distribute it. So they're actually coming out ahead of game.
JOBRANI: So Sony might've - Sony might've done it them - they might've had like - there might've been a guy in another room like, hello, this is Kim Jong-un.
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JOBRANI: You better not show the movie or I'm going to get you. Well, that's it. Cancel. Thank God.
SAGAL: It could be, but the problem is that these hackers have also been releasing all this incredibly damaging information including all these really rude emails that Sony executives were sending to each other. Like the head of Sony called Angelina Jolie a minimally talented spoiled brat. Can you imagine how much trouble any of us would be in if all of our work emails were suddenly exposed to the public?
POUNDSTONE: I'm self-employed so my emails...
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SAGAL: Who do you complain about management to?
POUNDSTONE: Well, I'm usually pretty, you know, encouraging about me.
SAGAL: Really?
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SAGAL: Paula, we think you're going to do great this year. You're doing terrific. Good job out there.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But no, when my emails get hacked, I am going to be so embarrassed.
SAGAL: 'Cause you don't have anything...
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, fantastic last night. Really good job.
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ROBERTS: Well, the thing is - the thing that's so interesting to me is that he's apparently a huge movie fan.
SAGAL: He is. Kim Jong-un.
POUNDSTONE: Kim Jong-un, yeah.
ROBERTS: ...Is a huge movie fan so he probably follows - I mean.
JOBRANI: How sad must that be if he's a huge movie fan and he's watching this movie and he's like this is a great movie. And then he's like, wait. They're killing me? This is not such a good movie. I don't like James Franco anymore.
SAGAL: Was that your North Korean accent?
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JOBRANI: No, I had one - No, I did that earlier on the phone call when I was calling in the threats.
POUNDSTONE: Keep the character alive.
JOBRANI: Now I did it different. You know, you never know. Maybe he speaks English very well - Kim Jong-un. He has a French name after all.
POUNDSTONE: (Imitating French accent) This is Kim Jong-un. I love movies and Dennis Rodman.
JOBRANI: (Imitating French accent) I cannot believe James Franco is killing me.
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POUNDSTONE: (Imitating French accent) Stop it James Franco.
JOBRANI: And the Seth Rogen.
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SAGAL: (Imitating French accent) Get along.
POUNDSTONE: (Imitating French accent) Seth Rogen, he is the worst.
SAGAL: Bill, how did Nick do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Nick is an Air Force paramedic and the patient lived. Perfect score.
SAGAL: Yes, well, all right. Thank you, Nick.
RIZZO: Hey, thanks a lot.
SAGAL: Good luck to you. Bye-bye.
(MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.